Bedtime Stories
by Silver Spider
Summary: Dingo has some trouble putting his five-year-old daughter to bed. “Bad Guys”-inspired one-shot. Tied to "Nightcaps", "Altered Paths", "Bonds of Blood and Water", "Shadows of Destiny", "Life Rearranges", "Talent", and "Dual Heritage"


_**Author's Note:**_ Spur of the moment fic I wrote within about a half hour. Enjoy!

**Bedtime Stories**

**By: Silver Spider**

Putting his five-year-old daughter to bed was a job and a half for Dingo. He always wondered how Robyn managed to do it almost uninterrupted. She did not seem to be at all influenced by Erika's big blue eyes and please that she had something really important to ask Yama that she _obviously_ could not do in the morning or something along those lines. Erika knew she could not sway her mother, so she stopped making the effort and meekly went to sleep. This time, however, it was his turn.

Drink of water? Check.

Teeth brushed? Check.

Potty? Check.

When she tugged on her pajamas and climbed into bed without complaint, Dingo began to get suspicious. This was far too easy. Erika settled against the pillows, and he reached for the light at her bedside table. He might just get away unscathed...

"Daddy..."

_Uh-oh..._

"What?" he turned a careful eye on her.

"Tell me a bedtime story."

_Here we go..._

"Darlin'," he tried for a tone of voice somewhere between meaning and reproachful, "you know I'd do anythin' for you, but you need to go to bed now. Stories can wait till tomorrow."

"But I'm not tired," she objected.

"Yeah, you are," her father assured her. "You'll fall asleep in the middle of the story and miss the best part."

"No, I won't!" she promised, sitting up instantly. "Please? I'll go to bed right away after that."

"I've heard that one," Dingo squinted at her.

"I really will this time," she searched for something else, "and if you do, I'll leave you alone for the _whole_ day tomorrow so you can spend time with Mommy."

He blinked. "Are you... bribing me?"

"What's 'bribing'?" she was honestly perplexed.

"'at's what you're doin' right now," he informed her, "and as far as bribes go, that's a pretty good one. So what d' you plan on doin' instead? Botherin' Yama or Fang." Erika shrugged innocently, and he sighed. "Fine. One story. That's it. Deal?"

"Deal!" she beamed. "But make it a good one. Something new."

"Oh, you want creativity, too?" Dingo thought for a moment, then sat down on the edge of her bed, tucking one leg under him. "Alright, I think I got one. Once upon a time, out in the woods, there lived a band of outlaws..."

"Like Robin Hood and his merry men?"

"No, not like Robin Hood at all. These were _real_ outlaws who plundered and pillaged and did lots of horrible things. And in their company was a man named Hal who... well, he didn't like everything they did, but they were his friends so he stuck 'round. Then, one day, a wizard came along and offered the outlaws special powers. In exchange, they had to give the wizard their hearts."

Erika gave a little obligatory gasp at this. "Did the wizard eat their hearts?"

"Where do you get this stuff from?" he looked at her dubiously.

"'Howl's Moving Castle'. Some of the other characters said that the wizard Howl ate young girls' hearts."

"But he didn't really," if he did, Dingo would have a serious word with whoever let his daughter watch that. Thankfully Erika shook her head.

"No, he just made up a rumor so people would be afraid of him and wouldn't bother him."

"Well, I don't know what this wizard did with the hearts of the outlaws," he went on, relieved, "but they definitely didn't have 'em anymore. Hal by this point was getting really annoyed with his friends anyway, so he decided to leave."

"Where'd he go?"

"He wandered around the forest for a long time, 'cause he didn't really know what to do with himself. He didn't want to be an outlaw anymore. What he really wanted was to be a hero, a knight."

"Oh!" Erika's eyes shone with excitement.

"Yeah, but see, he had a problem. The band of outlaws he used t' hang with was pretty well known throughout the kingdom. No one would want him as a knight. If he even showed his face in court he'd be in really big trouble."

"What did he do?" she was completely enraptured by the story at that point.

"As it happened, Hal was friends with the fairy princess, who gave him a magic sword. The sword could grow out and transform so it wasn't just a sword but a whole suit of armor, helmet and all."

"That's cool," she seemed distracted. "Did he marry the fairy princess?"

"No," he waved his hand dismissively. "They were just friends. Anyway, the fairy princess was already married to the goblin king. But," he added before she could start pouting, "there was another princess. The most beautiful princess in the whole world."

"Daddy!"

"Hey, this isn't about you. This princess, she's one of three kids."

"Is she the youngest? Fairytales are always about the youngest of three," Erika pointed out with the sage certainly of someone who was an absolute expert in the subject.

"No, she's the second. Her younger brother, the prince, was banished from the kingdom."

"Why?"

"'Cause he started a war with a neighboring kingdom, and that was very bad. But that's a different story. We don't care about that prince."

"Okay," she settled back into the pillows. "Go on."

"So, this princess... she wasn't like other princesses. Not only was she beautiful, but she could also fight and ride a horse and do everything all the boys did. She even had her own army."

"Like Xena?"

"Yeah, like Xena. No more interruptions, please."

"Sorry."

"Where was I?" he pretended to collect his thoughts. "Ah, right. So for a while, everything was good. Hal was a hero and kept all the villages safe from dragons and monsters and regular outlaws. The people were grateful and they loved him, even if they never saw his face. Word of this hero reached the princess, and she just had to see for herself what all the fuss was about.

"When she found him, he didn't know it was the princess, 'cause she was also in disguise. To see if this hero was as good as stories said, the princess challenged him to a fight. And she won, too, 'cause... well, he didn't know it was the princess, but Hal also didn't think it was right to hit a girl."

A snort from the doorway alerted Dingo to another presence in the room. From the corner of his vision, he saw Robyn leaning on the door frame, arms crossed and shaking her head in mock indignation and amusement. Erika did not seem to have noticed her mother at all. She was so wrapped up in the story.

"Right, so the princess won, and Hal had to admit who he was. She'd heard of his bad reputation from when he was an outlaw, but she was also pretty impressed with his skill. So the princess... invited him to join her army as a knight."

"Which is what he always wanted," Erika declared happily.

"Kinda," Dingo wrinkled his nose. "Was a li'le rocky at first. He and the princess didn't get along at all. They argued all the time. The princess thought that Hal was unreliable, and he thought she was mean and bossy and only wanted him in the army because the magic sword wouldn't work with anyone else."

His daughter stared at him, horrified. This was _not_ how stories were supposed to go.

"But," he held up his hand to calm her, "eventually, they both realized they were being pretty silly. They fell in love and were married and lived happily ever after fighting bad guys together. The end. Good night, darlin'."

He got up, tucked the covers around Erika whose face was nearly split in half with the huge grin, and turned off the lights before she could think of something else to say. Dingo was almost at the door when the springs creaked as she sat up again.

"Daddy..."

_God give me patience..._

"You promised you'd go straight to bed," he reminded her gently.

"I am," she nodded. "I just wanna know one thing."

"What's that?"

"Why are Fang and Yama-san not in this story?"

Before he could come up with something to say, Robyn stepped in to save him.

"Good night, Erika," her mother said pointedly and shut the door on their way out.

When they were both out in the hallway, she tried for a long moment to look stern before her composure broke and she burst out in quiet laughter.

"Don't hit girls, do you?" Robyn teased. "So that's why I beat you so easily. I've wondered."

"'at's entirely it," Dingo nodded, but he too was having a hard time keeping a straight face.


End file.
